Thursday, October 10, 2013

Year on the edge




Where to begin....
Just one year ago life was very different
orderly
quiet
calm
familiar 
mundane
predictable

I am not saying it was perfect
we were transitioning from job loss to self-employment
common family drama
busy days
ministry ups and downs

Nevertheless...
it was what we knew
a type of comfort because it was the known reality

Then...October hit like an earthquake
on the scale it felt like a 6 or 7 


Not literally, but to my family, who was at the epicenter
It was definitely a 7

You see.........
things quickly went from routine life to
a loved one with a cancer diagnosis
a possible job on the other side of the U.S.
a loved one struggling with depression
a loved one seeking a job
and the list could go on

Everything that looked familiar was now unrecognizable
when the earth quaked beneath my feet
I had a hard time staying upright
I had to be reminded to breath


Even now, one year later
I find myself holding my breath

The thing about earthquakes....
things are never the same afterwards
you can rebuild
you can move forward
but, things are never the same
the landscape has changed permanently


the other thing about earthquakes...
they cause those affected to 
move 
change 
reassess
pick up the pieces
repair the things that can be repaired
throw out that which is beyond repair
replace
appreciate what really matters
let go of the rest

It is hard riding out an earthquake
without something solid to hold onto

This past year has probably been the most unrest I have ever experienced
I can not imagine what I would have done without my Savior beside me
He was so creative in how He cared for me and those I hold in my heart
He brought Holy Spirit strength
to allow me to care for my sweet sister and her family
He brought His Word to mind
allowing me to comfort other hurting loved ones
He gave God confidence 
allowing me to finish well so I could move on
He used the hands of others 
to hold the hands of this exhausted, unsteady girl, as I packed up my life
He gave unexpected blessings of friends
waiting for me, 
as if I were expected...
helping to heal wounds from the quake
with love and laughter

It took an earthquake to move this turtle girl
to move out of the routine of a good life
to a new routine and a new life

I have survived this year of living on the edge
but I have to admit
I long for meadows instead of cliffs


I long for beaches instead of volcanoes

I long for swinging on a porch swing instead of an earthquake


As I continue to embrace today and reflect on where I was a year ago
All I can say is
Thank you Jesus
as always
you have taken care of this turtle girl
in ways grander than I could ever imagine


Ephesians 3:16-21
(MSG)
My response is to get down on my knees before the Father,
this magnificent Father
who parcels out all heaven and earth.
I ask Him to strengthen you by His Spirit--
not a brute strength 
but a glorious inner strength--
that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite Him in.
And I ask Him that with both feet planted firmly on love,
you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus
the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love.
Reach out and experience the breadth!
Test its length!
Plumb the depths!
Rise to the heights!
Live full lives,
full in the fullness of God.
God can do anything,
you know--
far more than you could ever imagine
or guess
or request in your wildest dreams!
He does it not by pushing us around
but by working within us,
His Spirit
deeply
and 
gently
within us.

Glory to God in the church!
Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus!
Glory down all the generations!
Glory through all millennia!
Oh yes!!


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