Monday, June 3, 2013

Shoulda Coulda Woulda

The older I get,
the easier is it
to look back and wish
I would have done things differently

I have a heritage
of focusing on the past
of wishing things had worked out differently
of regretting decisions made
of not pursuing things that were important

It is in my DNA to think this way
to see the paths I should have taken
to see the people I should have embraced 
to see the moments that slipped away

I could have chosen a different way of handling certain situations
which in turn would have changed the coarse of my life and of those I love

Some days it takes a Holy intervention to keep me from getting stuck in the
Shoulda Coulda Wouldas

I fight it
I pray for strength

For I come from one who is stuck there, even now
Unable to enjoy today
No joy, just regret
Unable to find a reason to get up in the morning
Unable to move forward
Too much past to focus on, taking up all the air of the present.

There is only one thing that keeps me from the
Shoulda Coulda Wouldas

The Gospel
The Holy Spirit's presence in my life

I thank God every day for keeping me from thinking my life is defined by
my past
the things I did
the things I didn't do

I thank God for His intervention
when I find myself slipping into the
Shoulda Coulda Wouldas

He turns my thoughts to Christ and truth

For there are no mistakes when it comes to how life unfolds
God has it all in hand
even when it feels like chaos
even when looking back it makes no human sense

There are no
Shoulda Coulda Wouldas 
in God's world

That means there are none in mine either

When I look back at my life
what I choose to see is a life
full of lessons
full of second chances
full of redemption
full of grace
full of stories to be used to encourage another
to overflowing

 I am sad for those in my life that are stuck in the
Shoulda Coulda Wouldas

I must do a better job of bringing light to a dark situation
I must not give up on them
no one has to live that way
that is not God's design

I need to ask myself how I can better reflect
the light of hope, joy, peace
to my loved ones that can't find it

For the Shoulda Coulda Wouldas
are poison and have no place in a child of God's life

The antidote is Christ and the truth of the Gospel
nothing else can relieve regret

Philippians 3:9-14 (the voice)
When it counts, I want to be found belonging to Him,
not clinging to my own righteousness based on law,
but actively relying on the faithfulness of the Anointed One.
This is true righteousness, supplied by God, acquired by faith.
I want to know Him inside and out.
I want to experience the power of His resurrection
and join in His suffering, shaped by His death,
so that I may arrive safely at the resurrection from the dead.
I’m not there yet, nor have I become perfect;
but I am charging on to gain anything and everything
the Anointed One, Jesus, has in store for me
—and nothing will stand in my way
because He has grabbed me and won’t let me go. 
Brothers and sisters, as I said, I know I have not arrived;
but there’s one thing I am doing:
I’m leaving my old life behind,
putting everything on the line for this mission. 
I am sprinting toward the only goal that counts:
to cross the line,
to win the prize,
and to hear God’s call
to resurrection life found exclusively
in Jesus the Anointed.

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