Monday, March 25, 2013

The beginning of an ending

We have
and laughed
in this house for 14 years
It is the longest
we have ever lived
in one place as a family
Today is the day
when all of this begins to end

Today the moving truck arrives to take half of this families belongings away

This mama bird never seems to do things in the normal fashion
Instead of sending my chicks into the world
they are sending me into the world

I am an odd mama bird

My life is full of examples of abnormal patterns of living

The world must be scratching its head

I know this must be the case 
because when I share what our families last year has been like:
the loss, the confusion, the drifting, the worry,
the questions of why, what and how will this family survive   

When I share how God cradled this family close during the storm....
the heads start scratching and the questions come...

Why didn't you tell us?
We didn't know...

When did this happen?
We didn't realize...

Those that were close to the center had some idea,
but no one knows the emotions that creep up in the dark of the night.

It was not like we were trying to hide anything
or pretend all was well

In a sense, all was and is well

For we never lost sight of who was steering our family
even when we did not understand 

Who are we to question?

This does not mean it has not been hard,
Faith is hard
Trust in the dark is hard
Stepping into the unknown is hard
Letting go is hard
Leaving is hard

But, in spite of it being hard,
We trust

We begin again

We willingly close up one way of life for another

It is hard to explain being happy and sad at the same time
But there it is

It is the simplest explanation of faith...
to step into a new beginning being
Happy to know that God has my back and is going before me
Happy that He has provided in wonderful ways for this family
Happy to remember how great this life has been
Happy in anticipation for what He has for all of this family in the future,
even as we live in separate places.
Sad of what I must let go of to move forward with The Lord
Sad to leave my chicks, for this mama bird loves her chicks
Sad for those that don't understand how God moves His people
Sad for those close to me who do not trust in God's plan

Most of all, I am thankful for this beginning of an end.
It has been a beautiful way to raise my chicks
I knew in my head that one day we would be separated by space and time
I just had no idea it would look like this

But as you now know...

I am an odd mama bird 
preparing for flight with my soul mate and my God

Matthew 6:25-34
Here is the bottom line: do not worry about your life.
Don’t worry about what you will eat or what you will drink.
Don’t worry about how you clothe your body.
Living is about more than merely eating,
and the body is about more than dressing up.
Look at the birds in the sky.
They do not store food for winter.
They don’t plant gardens.
They do not sow or reap—and yet,
they are always fed because your heavenly Father feeds them.
And you are even more precious to Him than a beautiful bird.
If He looks after them,
of course He will look after you.
Worrying does not do any good;
who here can claim to add even an hour to his life by worrying? ...
Joshua 1:7-9
Always be strong and courageous,
and always live by all of the law I gave to my servant Moses,
never turning from it—
even ever so slightly—
so that you may succeed wherever you go. 
Let the words from the book of the law be always on your lips.
Meditate on them day and night
so that you may be careful to live by all that is written in it.
If you do,
as you make your way through this world,
you will prosper and always find success.
This is My command:
be strong and courageous.
Never be afraid or discouraged
because I am your God,
the Eternal One,
and I will remain with you wherever you go.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful, Just Beautiful, as you and your story are. Love you, God speed my little mama bird. Helen